How to Communicate with Someone Who Has Dementia
How to Communicate with Someone Who Has Dementia
Short answer: Communicating with a loved one who has dementia requires patience, a quiet environment, and adjusting your approach as the disease progresses. Focus on the meaning behind their words, avoid arguing, and speak directly to them to maintain their dignity.
- Adjust your communication style based on your loved one’s dementia stage.
- Never argue or correct; focus on the feelings behind the words.
- Involve the person in care and legal decisions during the early stages of the disease.
- Seek medical help for sudden aggression, or call 911 if someone is in immediate danger.
- Home care aides in Pennsylvania receive specific training to handle difficult behaviors.
As dementia progresses, the way you talk with your loved one will need to change. The disease affects memory, word-finding, and comprehension differently at each stage. Adapting your approach helps reduce frustration for both of you.
Communication Tips by Dementia Stage
The Alzheimer’s Association guidelines recommend shifting your communication strategies as symptoms advance. The table below outlines what to do and what to avoid during the early, middle, and late stages.
| Dementia Stage | What to Do | What to Avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Early (Mild) | Speak directly to the person and give them plenty of time to respond. | Do not assume they lack abilities just because of their diagnosis. |
| Middle (Moderate) | Talk one-on-one in a quiet space with few distractions. Ask simple yes or no questions. | Avoid arguing. Do not focus on facts; focus on the meaning behind their words. |
| Late (Severe) | Approach from the front and identify yourself. Treat them with dignity and respect. | Do not talk about them as if they are not present in the room. |
Handling Frustration and Agitation
People with dementia can become anxious, frustrated, or agitated. The Global Deterioration Scale notes that by stage 6, individuals may experience emotional changes like anxiety, obsessive repetition, agitation, and even new violent behaviors. If agitation happens in the late afternoon or evening, they may be experiencing sundowning. You can help by managing sundowning symptoms, such as keeping a regular routine and ensuring the home is well lit in the evening.
When your loved one becomes agitated, follow these steps to de-escalate the situation:
- Stay calm and keep your voice steady.
- Do not argue with the person or try to correct their reality.
- Reassure them and address the feelings behind their words.
- Reduce background noise and remove distractions from the room.
Never use physical restraint to handle agitation. If your loved one shows sudden new aggression, contact their doctor to rule out physical pain or medication side effects. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911 and tell the dispatcher the person has dementia.
Caring for a loved one with dementia is challenging. If you need a break, New Century Home Care can help. Call 215-974-0000 or visit our contact page and select “I am a client” then “I need services” to get started. Our Philadelphia office staff speak English, Russian, and Ukrainian.
Communicating About Care and the Future
The early stage of dementia is the best time to make legal, financial, and end-of-life plans. During this phase, the person can still function independently, drive, and take part in important decisions. Talk openly about their future care needs and ask what they want. Involving them early respects their dignity and makes future transitions easier.
As the disease advances, they will lose the ability to make complex choices. For more context on how abilities decline over time, review the 7 stages of dementia. This knowledge helps you anticipate when to take over decision-making.
Help from Trained Caregivers
Sometimes, bringing in outside help is the best way to maintain a positive relationship with your loved one. Under Pennsylvania law, non-medical home care agencies must verify the competency of their direct care workers. This required training covers recognizing changes in the consumer, maintaining confidentiality, and dealing with difficult behaviors.
Aides provide personal care, companionship, and specialized dementia support. Pennsylvania requires their training to cover dealing with difficult behaviors. If you need local support outside of home care, the Alzheimer’s Association Delaware Valley Chapter runs free caregiver support groups. You can reach their 24/7 Helpline at 800-272-3900. You can also explore our dementia care resources for additional guidance.
For help at home: Call New Century Home Care at 215-974-0000 or fill out our online form by choosing “I am a client” and “I need services”.
Frequently asked questions
What are three things not to say to someone with dementia?
Do not argue with them, do not correct their memory of past events, and do not talk about them as if they are not in the room. Focus on the meaning behind their words and always treat them with respect.
What are the seven stages of dementia before death?
The Global Deterioration Scale outlines seven stages, starting with no subjective memory deficit (stage 1) and progressing to severe cognitive decline (stage 7). By stage 7, individuals lose verbal abilities, become incontinent, and need help with eating and toileting.
How do people with dementia feel?
People with dementia often feel confused, anxious, or frustrated as they lose their memory and abilities. They can sense your stress, which may increase their own anxiety. Staying calm and offering a quiet, supportive environment helps them feel safe.
What communication techniques should you use when talking to a person with dementia?
Speak directly to the person, approach them from the front, and ask simple yes or no questions. Give them plenty of time to respond. Reduce background noise and distractions to help them focus on the conversation.
Non-medical home care in Philadelphia, Bucks, Montgomery, Delaware and Chester counties. Medicaid CHC (Keystone First), VA programs and private pay. We speak English, Russian and Ukrainian.
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